Love is not always love

I remember with a smile the stories I heard from my grandfather. It is a period in which marriages are mostly made without long periods of acquaintance and acquaintance, yet separations other than death are rare, whether it is because young girls are brought up with the teaching that I am going home from the house where I was born and I am going to the house where I am going to die. There was a story that my grandfather told at length with enthusiasm and enthusiasm, which I particularly enjoyed listening to. The protagonist is a young man named Bahattin, a high agricultural engineer and a new civil servant in Ankara.

With her mother's insistence, Bahattin is persuaded to go to the eldest of the 7 daughters of Hayriye Hanım, with whom they are distantly related. The mother and son set off from Ankara to Kilis. Hayriye Ladies live happily in a mansion in Kilis. It is said that their daughters did not go to school. Apart from two brothers, there is no child sent to school to receive education in this house. However, the education of the girls was completed at home with private tutors. They were well received in this house they came to see, but they did not share the same environment with anyone other than Hayriye Hanım and her stern husband and housekeepers. Whereas, Bahattin is a little worried, wondering to whom they are going to see, and with whom he will marry. Either way, the heart wants to see it. After sweet conversations, her mother brings up the subject, addressing the head of the house and saying, “Sir, you know what purpose we are here for. You must have heard the news from my brother Hayriye. I am not saying that he is my son, he is known for his mastery and hard work. He became a new officer, we would like to see his master now. We aspire to your daughter." says. The master of the house is a person who speaks little. “Ma'am, everything is by chance, of course, let us talk and think among ourselves. Let us inform you of our decision.” This is everything! An arranged visit was made, the girl was asked and we waited, the answer was "Let's think about it, let's inform".

Bahattin wants to leave this house, where the guests are hosted for harem and greetings, and where the girls are not taken to the boys' side, and return to his home in the mainland. But the landlords won't let it. “Did you come all this way to come in the morning and return in the evening? They can't say no to their insistence, "Stay and rest tonight." The master of the house must have felt that his future son-in-law was bored, so he calls out to the gardener and gives the order, "Let Bahattin show us around our garden". Bahattin is sent from the guest room to the corridor, one step behind the gardener. Right after her, her mother and Hayriye Hanim leave the room and follow them. When it comes to the middle of the corridor, the door of the room opposite opens quickly and a little boy runs out.

The door of the room is left open, and behind the ajar door, a beautiful brunette girl is looking at Bahattin in bewilderment, facing the door as if wearing a veil, with a white silk veil that she let loose from her hair, leaving her bangs in the middle. She walks to the door of the room, embarrassed and rolling her eyes. While holding the doorknob and pushing it slowly, he takes one last look and nods gently to Bahattini. And closing doors. Bahattin stops following the gardener and leans into his mother's ear, who follows Hayriye Hanım. "Who was this girl?" So he wonders which of the 7 girls of the house. The first answer to his question comes from his mother's wide eyes. Then the woman is a little embarrassed, afraid that Hayriye Hanım will hear, and says, "O Firdevs, their second daughter." The meaning behind being called their second daughter is actually this; “we are here for their grand daughters”. According to the tradition, it is not time for the next one after the eldest daughter gets married.

Bahattin does not sleep through the night. He can't save himself from the magic of the eye-to-eye moment, which lasts only 3 seconds. The next morning, I think of frames from old Turkish movies; From movies with Hülya Koçyigit, Filiz Akın and Ediz Hun… The love-filled lines of those movies and the characters of shy, innocent young girls who look away from their loved ones… Falling in love with each other through letters; movie heroes who are indispensable to each other without seeing or touching them… Were they too fantastical stories? Or were the old people a very patient and tolerant generation? How easily we give up on things that we have so hard to achieve these days.

In the morning of the day when the guest will end, he gets up from his bed early with the tiredness of the night he spent with heartache. He gets ready and waits for someone to come to announce breakfast. Finally, after her mother knocks on the door of the room a few times, she enters. Program; He is about to set out on his way home after breakfast. But Bahatttin doesn't want to go anymore. At least he wants to see that brunette beauty one more time before he leaves. “I'll take care of the crops in the garden and we'll hit the road this afternoon,” he says to his mother. Without waiting for an answer, he starts walking towards the courtyard where the breakfast table is prepared. During breakfast, all the windows of the house facing the courtyard are under the surveillance of Bahattin. He prays for a curtain to move and for yesterday's face that he can see again. Bahattin, who doesn't want to wait for the travel time and crammed into the guest room of the house after breakfast, asks the gardener to accompany him to tour the garden again. She still dreams of the chance to catch him looking out of one of the windows and see him once more. After a lot of work with the garden and the soil, he goes to the front yard of the house. While washing his hands in the fountain there, he notices that the little boy who had rushed out of the room yesterday approached him. The child reaches out to him with a tiny piece of paper in his hand. He starts walking in the direction he came from. Bahattin opens the paper and reads the one sentence note. "I fell in love with you" Bahattin, who caught the boy by the shoulders with two steps, immediately asks, "who sent this?" The child is undecided between answering or not, he says “Firdevs Abla”, hesitantly. Bahattin, holding the paper in his hand in his palm, walks quickly towards the guest room of the house. He takes a deep breath and opens the door. The man she is looking for; The lord of the house is sitting on the opposite sofa with all his magnificence. “Come on, Bahattin,” the man says, showing him a place to sit. And he adds, “It's not for every guest to enter the room without a fancy dress in my house, but I give it to his youth and ignorance”. She looks at the paper she's holding in her palm, then at the man's face. Then he turns his head and starts to speak, “Sir, you know why we are here, my intention is to get married” The man interrupts Bahattin with an irritable attitude. “Things like this can't be rushed, you don't know the way.

You presented your intention and demand, and we will inform you of our decision!” Says Bahattin parted his lips to continue where he left off, but he remains silent again, not knowing how to say that the girl he wants to marry is their second daughter, Firdevs. When he raises his head and looks at the man, he sees the anger and surprise on his face. Gathering all his courage, he says, "I want to marry your second daughter, Firdevs, sir." The man jumps up from his seat and shouts, "What are you saying, disembodied?" Bahattin interrupts when he says "You are Firdevs...". “Sir, forgive me! Yesterday I left the guest room to go to the garden when a child opened the door of Mrs. Firdevs' room. That's when I saw him. And I've been dreaming of marrying him ever since, if you'll excuse me." The man calms down and sits down. “Until my eldest daughter is married, it is not her turn. You go back to your hometown for now.” Encouraged by the man's softening attitude, Bahattin immediately jumped into the conversation and said, "Sir, everything is by fate, as you ordered, but we do not know when his sister will get married or when it will be her turn. I would not want to leave without your permission and promise to marry your daughter Firdevs Hanım. I have a lot of patience to wait. If I have your word, I will wait in peace”. The man looks at Bahattine for a long time and stands up unexpectedly. After taking a few thoughtful steps, he turned his face to the window and said, “I will host you for one more night. Have your religious wedding tomorrow. Then return to your hometown. make your preparations. Let's complete our preparations here. He says, "If you're lucky, there will be a wedding in two weeks" and leaves the room... Let me briefly explain the end of the story for those who are wondering; Bahattin and Firdevs got married within 15 days and settled in Ankara. They had 4 children.

They lived happily married without losing their excitement at first sight. Until Bahattin died last year at the age of 74. This is the story of my grandfather and my grandmother. And the greatest love story I know. My grandmother sees death as reuniting with her husband these days and is waiting with excitement. I can't be mad at him. If I had such a love, I would wish it too.. Love is not always "love". Sometimes it is above. Even when you haven't heard his voice yet, even when you have seen his face only once from 5 meters away, you can stop your mind enough to put it at the center of your life. It can rule out logic. And in fact, the greatest loves happen after marriage. Love evolves, does not die.. It does not disappear.. Fear not marriage, but yourself, be afraid of not being able to protect and consume Love.